Traveling into the unknown...

Traveling is a great opportunity for letting go of agendas! I am into my sixth week in Austria. I am, and I am not a detail person. Don’t try to figure that out. Those who know me well, you understand, I am sure!

My trip began with a visit to my parents in Maryland, after which I was to leave for Austria from Washington, DC. My son, Henry, and his father took me to the airport in Spokane. I had spent the previous week packing and getting ready for being away for up to a year, everything was pretty much either sold or packed in a storage unit. Knowing that going light is best, I packed my road bike! (Detail) On the way to the airport, Kyle asked me what this trip was about for me. Freedom. Letting go. Adventure. Service. Interesting that I was taking a bike. It was not symbolic of what I was trying to accomplish. So I find myself at the Hilton Garden parking lot, re-packing everything at the last minute so I could leave the bike and all the crap in the bike box behind! Agenda #1.

I proceed to have a nice visit with my parents, relieved I don’t have the bike, because my flight was delayed for hours, the bike box would never have fit into the rental car, and I was exhausted. Good thing I ditched it! Thanks Kyle!

Agenda #2. I arrive with plenty of time to the Dulles International Airport in DC, feeling lighter, just a little nervous about my journey. I need to go talk to an agent, so I get to the desk, and the man behind the counter looks over my tickets and my documents and asks me if I have a visa. What!?! Okay, what is happening? So much time and research went into getting to this point. It seems I booked my ticket as far out as possible, and only in and out of Zurich, even though I am planning on traveling from here…

He proceeds to tell me that they will send me right back from Zurich if I go because I am only allowed to be in Europe for 90 days at a time, unless I have a visa for staying longer. Detail lost…I thought I had 6 months at a time. Okay. I am not thinking too clearly, but I am breathing. Trying not to feel too stupid as this person is telling me that I can’t leave the country until I am prepared! I was prepared. Thank God I don’t have that huge, heavy bike box.

So he changes my ticket to leave the next morning. A little defeated and asking myself, “What the hell am I doing?” I lug my bags outside and onto the shuttle to the car rental place. Once in the car, I am not sure where I am going. Somewhere with internet service, and where I can make some calls. I spend most of the day at Starbucks. I have never really felt grateful for Starbucks, as I prefer to support Sandpoint’s smaller local coffee shops. They are so much better. But in suburbia Virginia, I was feeling very relieved to have all I needed. I ordered a chamomile tea and got to work.

And it all worked out. I had a place to stay with my sister’s brother-in-law, near the airport. I made some changes, and reorganized my trip. Just get over there, and it will all work out. I’d come this far easily. Just keep moving forward. Stay centered and grounded
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Agenda #3. I make it to Austria! I think I am going to have time to adjust to my new surroundings in Austria, get settled in and organize my work from here right away. Three days after my arrival, my boyfriend finds out he is coming home from Thailand, “tomorrow.” This is great news! Now I am on vacation with him, and then Henry comes to visit. I think just about every waking moment was filled with outdoors, adventure and fun.

Letting go of agendas is not a good or a bad thing. It is necessary. Agendas limit us. If I am working with a client, whether doing Cranial Therapy, Core Belief Restructuring, or guidance, I cannot consider having an agenda. It is the first rule in doing the work I do. Yet, I had all kinds of expectations and stories about how things were going to be. And nothing has turned out the way I thought it would, so far.

I guess it is a learning curve of traveling. You never know, so don’t plan. Be okay with the unknown. Allow it to flow, and unfold. Details. I like to have a plan. I like the security of the known. But do we really know anything. Plans change. That’s life. That’s traveling. For now, Henry’s gone. Christoph is off in Turkey, back at work. And I am taking advantage of the not-so-great weather to work a little. We’ll just see what happens…

Resurrect Yourself

Happy Easter. It seems like a perfect day for resurrecting! The definition of resurrection: 1. The act of rising from the dead or returning to life. 2. The state of one who has returned to life. 3. The act of bringing back to practice, notice, or use; revival.

This definition seems fitting, as here in North Idaho we have had a very wet, chilly spring. It snowed this week! The sun is out, the birds are singing, shoots are sprouting up. Life on earth here is being resurrected.

Many of us are experiencing quick and ever-changing realities as shifts are taking place on profoundly deep levels. We are being called to expand ourselves in ways that we only dreamed of, not so long ago.

This includes all levels - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. We are being called to let go and shed old ways of being, feeling and thinking to move into new alignment with the adjustments of the Earth and the changes in our world. These last couple full moons have propelled us forward and toward higher perspectives. We are taking action and seeing things become manifest, ideas we put forth long ago and in the moment. It is crucial that we understand the link between our thoughts and feelings so that we keep these shifts moving in a positive and healthy direction. The pathway is through the body.

The work of inner growth is for ourselves and for each other, if we are to create abundant peaceful and happy lives. In order to move smoothly on this journey, and with one another, each of us must cultivate a positive relationship within our selves. Learning how to manage our energy so that we can navigate these changes with grace and ease is the key. This takes courage, patience, and trust that we are being guided with all the support we need. How we accept this guidance is through trust in the benevolence of the universe, and by getting our egos off the controls.

Guidance comes from connecting with our higher selves, that place of truth within ourselves and ultimately the truth of who we are, our unique gifts and contributions we are here to offer in this lifetime. We are not victims. We are powerful beings, guided by the love and light within us. Taking time to nurture those gifts, to water the seeds of our being, to shine light from within outward through awareness and insight - these are what enable us to live the lives we are here to live.

When we let the ego run the show, we are causing separation, anxiety and harm to ourselves. We are blocking creative energy and our ability to hear what our guidance is presenting to us in terms of opportunities to manifest. It’s time to awaken to the synergistic magic of the symbols that offer wisdom and a pathway to our higher purpose and service.

Imagine living outside the confines of the illusion, of beliefs and ideas that limit our spirits. By being in harmony with yourself, you are in harmony with all that is. And the path is clearly seen that lies before you. There is no doubt, no fear. Only pure Light and that Light is what guides you to something higher that yourself, something more blessed than what your ego could conjure up. You unblock that channel to your knowing, to your ability to receive the information that is coming in, to the questions you ask. The answers are right there in the openings that present themselves. It is a matter of opening your heart up to hear or see those answers and having the courage to step through the door into the unknown.

Core Belief Restructuring, www.luminousepinoia.com offers a way to connecting us with our highest selves, tools for managing and maintaining inner balance so that we can live with ease and in a way that our Spirit is guiding our vessel, versus the ego. Many of our beliefs limit us and disempower us and keep us small, with the illusion of security and safety. Each of us is a creative expression of the Divine and we are here to bring our best selves forward to shine and assist one another in living in our highest potential. Our lives have sped up considerably over the last several decades and in order to keep up we must learn to slow down, to do more than just ask. We slow down so we can hear the answers that are in front of us, supporting us in our forward movement. The way to ‘keeping up” is to stop, connect with our bodies and listen to what information or message our bodies are giving us. What many of us do is get so busy, we disconnect from our bodies, because of some discomfort. We have to remember how to use our bodies to work for us. We do this by letting the spirit be the controller and not the ego. We do this by cultivating patience and courage and a willingness to know the truth within ourselves, the essence of who we are. We are so disconnected with our bodies, many of us, that we miss the answer and we keep asking the same questions trying to jump the same hurdle and knocking it over and over again. That is the ego, and the ego is what causes us to trip up, our fears, doubts, beliefs. It is time to release those old beliefs to make room for your essence…for the flower within you to bloom, you also need space to let it grow, freedom from suffocation and repression.

Take time today to allow the resurrection to happen. Trust that you are in the right place, within yourself. Make space to be nourished and revitalized. To let the light in and illuminate your own light within. Now is the time to wake up!

December Offering

Although my main work is in Craniosacral Therapy (CST) and SomatoEmotional Release (SER), there are other modalities of healing that I bring into my practice. For over 4 years I have been personally practicing Shamanic healing from the Peruvian Inca tradition. www.thefourwinds.com In addition to this, for the past 15 months, I have been training in Core Belief Restructuring. www.corebeliefrestructuring.com The tools I have accumulated in these programs have assisted my growth further in being able to manage my energy efficiently, coming from my Spirit versus my ego consistently and learning how to focus my intention with purpose and clarity. This combined with the regular practice of Gratitude are all part of the process of manifesting.

As I look back over the past year, or five years, I am seeing seeds which I planted coming to fruition. And I have focused clarity in the direction I see my life moving. We live in rapidly changing times and these tools have prepared me to move ahead with grace and ease and the ability to co-create a beautiful story for myself and the world.

My philosophy has been that one must do their own work in order to be available to others. The tools I have gathered, through my coaching, Shamanic and CBR practices have allowed me to navigate life with deep gratitude for the lessons and gifts that have aided in my personal evolution. CST and SER have allowed me to free my body-mind of tension and blocks built up over a lifetime. My self-trust and confidence has deepened, my ability to move through each moment with an open heart has amplified my life tremendously, and my relationships continue to become more creative and intimate. What I have learned in my personal journey, I teach and implement in my practice.

I use the body work I do for a few reasons. First, it is highly effective for releasing places that store stress and tension on a profoundly deep level, often permanently re-wiring the connection between body, mind and emotion. The nervous system is able to release and then hold a place of deep relaxation. It’s virtually a re-boot for the system and an oil lube for the body!

Secondly, by combining my Shamanic and CBR work and integrating it into the body work, my clients experience a deep holistic shift. I am able to be sensitive to the person I am working with and communicate with their inner physician (higher self) clearly and accurately, which makes for an overall powerful and lasting experience. It allows for the intention of the client to be manifest in a safe and soft manner.

For the month of December, I am offering 3 sessions for $130. A great gift for yourself and/or for someone you love! Wishing you a healthy, happy holiday and New Year!

I also do distance work if you live out of the area. Contact me via phone or email for more information.

Spiritual Parenting, Transcending the Old Models

Recently, I had an experience where my 11-year old son, Henry, lied to me about going to a violin practice in which he was not present. Minutes after the lie was told, I made a comment about calling his teacher. I'd been wanting to talk to her about Henry's waning interest in violin this year, the heavier homework load at school, and where we might be headed in regard to his lessons.

When we see children lie, we often react, we get angry, take it personally (I’m a bad parent, I have a child that lies, etc.) I chose to sit with it. The question I wanted to get to was: “What is going on in our relationship that he felt he couldn’t be honest with me?” I wanted to come to understanding rather than blame. So how do we get to what’s behind the lie?

The day after this event, Henry went off with his dad. This allowed me time to reflect. I had to own the part that was mine. He didn't want to disappoint me and he could feel I had an agenda around him keeping up with playing violin. It was my agenda for him playing the violin that created him not wanting to disappoint me. This was no longer his agenda.

I shared with him my insights a week later when we were back together again. I saw a light go off for him. He hadn't understood clearly why he lied, not to the point that he could own it. Now he could.

There are two of us in this relationship. If I am to teach him about honesty, then I have to be impeccable in how I live, have integrity in my words and actions. I have to be willing to see what's true in a situation and be willing to communicate that in a loving way. I have to trust that I am capable of taking care of myself and use the tools I have to navigate through life beautifully. That is the gift I share with him in my relationship to him as a parent, and through modeling how I live at my highest level each moment. A spirit having a human experience.

For those of you who are parents, I challenge you to ask some questions of yourself when you experience those "bumps" with your children. There is a relationship that involves two persons, like any relationship. We set our loved ones up to hold back truths about themselves by having expectations and agendas. We do this with ourselves as well. Can you be gentle with yourself, give yourself the space you need to allow the seeds of your becoming to grow and mature into the magnificent being that you truly are, expressing your divine self, your Light.

In talking to Henry about this, we were able to be in the Truth of what was going on and resolve it with love and respect for what we are co-creating. I feel so honored to be his parent and in this relationship. He felt grateful that I could step in and be willing to let go of my agenda for him so that he can truly be who he is. In this place, there is only love, and stress and disease melts away. We can be free and continue saying "Yes" to life!

Trusting the Universe

Once we can truly own that we are all one, then we can connect with everyone for the highest good. We can live half way around the world and still be connected soul to soul. The more we let go of what we love, the more present our love becomes, and the more clearly we can embody the good. The deeper we will love from a more soulful place, the egoic love is then transcended.

I have had some remarkable insights and discoveries lately stemming from letting go, becoming unattached and freeing myself to live from a higher purpose. In fact I have had several instances lately where hummingbirds have flow and hovered around my heart center. It happened again only moments ago and I realized, I have cleaned up so much baggage that I am truly a flower and Nature is recognizing that in me.

I have been on this journey all my life and with the help of all the beautiful people in my life, including my parents, and with my intention to clear out the coffers of my egoic and emotional self, I am beginning to see such beauty and simplicity in this human experience. Thank you to all of you. The new chapter that is unfolding is one of light and love that I have never experienced, and clarity. I can hear the inner voice of my higher self, and the universe is now able to communicate through me. So even as I write this, it is not my voice but the voice of us all.

Trusting in the universe, knowing that there is a beautiful story unfolding, we can then relax and enjoy the moment as it is. There is a sense of rightness and alignment with yourself and with all things. This is so freeing. There is no need to know any outcome. We can finally welcome all things as beautiful gifts.

We are spirits manifested in our physical form on this Earth in this lifetime, and once we can truly embody that, we can then access the deeper wisdom that is available to all of us. I am just beginning that stage of accessing, and what I am receiving is vital for all of us to hear. We live in a society where we have been afraid, unsure, placing our worthiness outside of ourselves. We are all equals on the spirit level with unique gifts that want to be expressed and shared. We have more tools to support connecting with our higher selves now than ever. This is key. But first, trust in the universe. You may call it Source, God, Great Spirit. Whatever you name it, it is there, supporting you in living out a beautiful life. Trust in that and let go of attachments, and you will feel your life in alignment with all things.

Creating a Life Vision - June 2007

Stepping into your life can be exciting and scary when you are divorcing. It can feel overwhelming for some and exhilarating for others and somewhere in between for others still. I think I was somewhere in between.

During my alone time, when Henry was with his father, I didn't know what to do with myself often times. I would go exercise mostly and before I knew it I was in shape and feeling good about myself. I turned forty that year and had always wanted to do a triathlon, and so I trained for one, still unsure whether I could make it and when I did, I felt like I had accomplished something for me. This opened up a confidence in me I had never felt before.

Then I did a solo bike trip a few weeks later in the San Juan Islands in the Puget Sound near Seattle, Washington. There were lots of couples on the ferries and in the towns. I didn't see anyone traveling solo as I was. Feelings of loneliness perked, but I was enjoying time with me. What I started to see was that I needed and wanted to take time at this point in my life to discover who I am and what do I want.

This started a journey that I am still on today. One thing that popped up besides, "What am I going to do now for a living?" was that I had always wanted to go to another country for more than a week or two and live there for a couple of months, get to know another culture more intimately.

Recently, I spent 7 weeks in Soa Paolo State in Brazil with my son, Henry, who is 9 years old. The trip had everything I wanted, mostly connecting with the people who live there and feeling immersed in another culture.

There were times in my past when I came close to this, like going into the Peace Corps, and blowing out my knee skiing and being in rehab for 8 months. My life had taken a couple of turns and I never went. I have traveled, the tourist way, to Italy, Great Britain, Holland, Canada, and Mexico several times, but never really feeling that connection I yearned for.

With our split I found I had the time to create a new career for myself, to do some things I haven't done, to start to follow my dreams. So I planned a trip to Brazil with my son. As I started this process, I had contacts through friends in the US. It just so happened that we were able to get Henry into a Waldorf School in a community of small organic farms. He attends the Waldorf School where we live in Idaho. We stayed with a family in Dimetria for 3 weeks while Henry attended school. It was perfect for us and so rich in relationships and experience of newness and sharing.

This also helped us to become more familiar with Brazil and traveling there. So when we took off on our own, we felt more confident. The biggest thing was the warmth of Brazilians and their happiness with life, in general. We made some fabulous friends. I came home with such appreciation for what I have: my family and friends, my health, amenities, so many things that I have at times taken for granted and I feel so blessed and fortunate to live where I do.

Coming home, I feel like circumstances that have come up, bumps in the road, are so minor compared to the bigger picture of life and what is meaningful. I reflect on my path now and ask myself every morning, "What do I want? How do I want my day to feel?" and "What do I need today to get that?"

Action:
Start to create your life's vision.

Sit in a quiet place in silence for 10 minutes and then ask yourself these questions:

1. What is it I want today?
2. What is it I want for my life?
3. What is meaningful to me?
4. What do I need to do to make this happen?
Then, start to see that you are the creator of your life story and you have the freedom to create it how you want it. Freedom is giving yourself a choice and seeing that you can change or unchanged anything at any moment. It is self-awareness and a willingness to be in your integrity that keeps you on your path and connected to your deepest self.

Truth as Cleaning Up - July 2007

Being your Truth in relationships creates clean and honest communication. As I write this statement, I think, "Well, that's obvious." It may be obvious, yet not so easy as I have experienced with clients as well as in my own personal life.
There are so many factors that get in the way, but it really comes down to fear. If I am afraid to speak or act a true expression of myself because I might be criticized, rejected, or somehow squashed, there is a good chance that I will adjust my truth so that that doesn't happen, or happens to a level I am willing to accept.

Have you seen this in your relationships? In primary relationships (a spouse or a partner) it can be very damaging. Communication gets muddy and neither person feels heard or appreciated. If you aren't a true expression of yourself, others cannot respond to your essence. Instead they are responding to only what you are telling them by your words and your actions. When this happens, conflicts occur, and feelings of resentment at our partner not really knowing who we are. We might even start criticizing our partner, and blaming him/her for being so uncaring.

This happened in my relationship with my son's father. I was fearful of the relationship ending and hadn't accepted that as a possibility. We tried very hard to make it work. But I wasn't totally honest with him, out of that fear. He was trying to respond to what I was giving him, but as it wasn't totally authentic, how he was responding was based on what he was receiving from me, what I was telling him, verbally and non-verbally. Our communication would feel inconsistent, choppy and muddled because feelings would build up. He would get more frustrated and angry that his efforts weren't working. He thought he was doing what I wanted and I would get more fearful because it wasn't working and I didn't know how to fix it. I knew I needed to be true yet my fear was getting in the way.

We cannot start to make real changes in our lives until we see and accept what is true, about ourselves, our partners and our situations in the past and in this present moment. Now is the Time to heal and move on. Divorce and relationships are the perfect opportunity to make positive, healthy changes to create the kinds of relationships you really want.

Action:

Where are you stuck? What might you be denying in your life? Create time every day where you will not be disturbed. I find morning works well before everyone is up and my day gets rolling. Taking this time for me also allows my day to feel calmer.

Take some time and look at your relationships, primary and any other one that needs cleaning up. Set aside 30 minutes to journal about it and decide to take an action to de-clutter that/those relationships. When you have done that, go back and write about the experience. This will help to create a context for deeper healing as you allow your wisdom to unfold in the process. In doing this we create positive movement forward in our lives and make space for what we want to come in.