Getting Present - August 2007

"Now is the Time" was born out of my business name, Adesso, which means "now" in Italian. One of the things that was so important for me, now but even more vitally, in the beginning stages of my divorce, was to stay present. For myself and for Henry, my son who was 7 years old at the time his father and I were splitting up.

What staying in the present moment did for me was kept me out of the drama of my situation. It made me see that everything is as it should be at this moment. I have nothing to be a victim to, no one to blame, nothing to regret.

Getting present means taking the time to get quiet. Slowing down allowed me to feel. It also meant connecting with my physical body. When I get in touch with where my feelings are being held in my body, I can make adjustments. Sometimes I would feel some stress somewhere in my body and then ask myself, "What is the emotion I am holding there?" Our bodies are messengers of emotional information that can be very powerful to tap into.

What went hand-in-hand with making the effort to be present was the willingness to look at my situation clearly and factually. Taking time for silence allowed for me to become an observer. When I got more experienced at doing this alone and in silence, I started to do it in my more active daily life. In being an observer, I became more aware of things I had been overlooking for a very long time.

This awareness lead me out of denial and into acceptance. To be aware means to be mindful that something exists because you notice it or realize that it is happening: well-informed about what is going on in the world around you. Similar words are consciousness, wakefulness, and sensitivity. By definition, awareness is the doorway to change. Once we become aware, we can see choices. This is very freeing in that it opens us up from that stuck place of denial and takes us into action.

Action:

Where are you stuck? What might you be denying in your life? Create time every day where you will not be disturbed. I find morning works well before everyone is up and my day gets rolling. Taking this time for me also allows my day to feel calmer.

In the beginning, start out with 10 minutes. You can use a timer; this is helpful so you are not checking the time. Sitting in silence may be difficult at first but let yourself practice silence and non-doing, observing your thoughts. Let them move in and out. Try to watch them without resistance or judgment. When you are finished, you may want to journal about your experience, noting any insights you may have had. Do this everyday, adding time when you feel ready.

Now is the Time to take care of yourself, to take the time to be with yourself, This is am opportunity to nurture your spirit and increase your awareness so you can take actions to be in line with your truest and deepest self. When we do this, situations seem to fall in place in our lives so much easier.