Creating a Life Vision - June 2007

Stepping into your life can be exciting and scary when you are divorcing. It can feel overwhelming for some and exhilarating for others and somewhere in between for others still. I think I was somewhere in between.

During my alone time, when Henry was with his father, I didn't know what to do with myself often times. I would go exercise mostly and before I knew it I was in shape and feeling good about myself. I turned forty that year and had always wanted to do a triathlon, and so I trained for one, still unsure whether I could make it and when I did, I felt like I had accomplished something for me. This opened up a confidence in me I had never felt before.

Then I did a solo bike trip a few weeks later in the San Juan Islands in the Puget Sound near Seattle, Washington. There were lots of couples on the ferries and in the towns. I didn't see anyone traveling solo as I was. Feelings of loneliness perked, but I was enjoying time with me. What I started to see was that I needed and wanted to take time at this point in my life to discover who I am and what do I want.

This started a journey that I am still on today. One thing that popped up besides, "What am I going to do now for a living?" was that I had always wanted to go to another country for more than a week or two and live there for a couple of months, get to know another culture more intimately.

Recently, I spent 7 weeks in Soa Paolo State in Brazil with my son, Henry, who is 9 years old. The trip had everything I wanted, mostly connecting with the people who live there and feeling immersed in another culture.

There were times in my past when I came close to this, like going into the Peace Corps, and blowing out my knee skiing and being in rehab for 8 months. My life had taken a couple of turns and I never went. I have traveled, the tourist way, to Italy, Great Britain, Holland, Canada, and Mexico several times, but never really feeling that connection I yearned for.

With our split I found I had the time to create a new career for myself, to do some things I haven't done, to start to follow my dreams. So I planned a trip to Brazil with my son. As I started this process, I had contacts through friends in the US. It just so happened that we were able to get Henry into a Waldorf School in a community of small organic farms. He attends the Waldorf School where we live in Idaho. We stayed with a family in Dimetria for 3 weeks while Henry attended school. It was perfect for us and so rich in relationships and experience of newness and sharing.

This also helped us to become more familiar with Brazil and traveling there. So when we took off on our own, we felt more confident. The biggest thing was the warmth of Brazilians and their happiness with life, in general. We made some fabulous friends. I came home with such appreciation for what I have: my family and friends, my health, amenities, so many things that I have at times taken for granted and I feel so blessed and fortunate to live where I do.

Coming home, I feel like circumstances that have come up, bumps in the road, are so minor compared to the bigger picture of life and what is meaningful. I reflect on my path now and ask myself every morning, "What do I want? How do I want my day to feel?" and "What do I need today to get that?"

Action:
Start to create your life's vision.

Sit in a quiet place in silence for 10 minutes and then ask yourself these questions:

1. What is it I want today?
2. What is it I want for my life?
3. What is meaningful to me?
4. What do I need to do to make this happen?
Then, start to see that you are the creator of your life story and you have the freedom to create it how you want it. Freedom is giving yourself a choice and seeing that you can change or unchanged anything at any moment. It is self-awareness and a willingness to be in your integrity that keeps you on your path and connected to your deepest self.